Trying to find my place, in this world of war.

Modern Day "doughnut" dollies headed to Baghdad and Balad.

I felt like a stranger upon arriving at the CRC. It was as if I was a guest in someone else’s home, or like the first day at a new school. The unfamiliarity of your environment is enough to handle on its own, but to make things worse, it always seems to be accompanied by the feeling that people are watching your every move, waiting for you to embarrass yourself. It is usually the small things that you worry about most, like not holding up the lunch line, or not being able to unlock the door to the barracks, or having to use a communal shower for the first time. These little worries quickly fade out of memory once you establish a routine. What keeps stirring in my mind is trying to understand the unique position of the Red Cross and how we fit into the bigger picture of war.

During our Red Cross training we watched a movie about the Red Cross Girls of Vietnam. One woman put it best when she said that we are visitors to war. Though we place ourselves among the military, we do not bear the burden that lays heavy on many soldiers, we are not faced with the possibility of having to kill, nor do we place ourselves in great danger. But what they did do, these Vietnam the Red Cross girls, was attempt to make the war disappear if only for a few moments.

There must be a balance though; one that I’m finding hard to strike. To not acknowledge anything about war would be ignorant; to be too realistic would ruin any chances for respite. How do you have fun and create an environment where soldiers can escape the terrors of war, yet ensure they know you understand and do not demean the seriousness of their task? I am hoping this balance will become more evident, as I see with my own eyes and experience with my own hands what our operations look like on the ground.